Conundrum
Added about a year ago by David Grieve
The riddle of the ambushed mind,
one day secure in health,
shielded within well-being,
nourished in a green pasture,
refreshed by still waters
and soul restored,
yet the very next
yet again plunged into the cloud of confusion,
lost as on the fells without a signal
and stranded in the molehills of the mind.
Yet again.
It’s a lockdown.
The key is somewhere else.
Hope is not buttressed
by the comfort of previous rescues.
It is not there in the present,
not within the hard fact of isolation
and unspecified quarantine.
Depression is the trapping of the mind
in the endlessly present helpless moment.
It may acknowledge the truth of
the round-wrapping love of others,
and the proven track record of years of
liberating therapies – eventually - but,
in the now,
existentially,
it’s caught in the headlights of darkness
and spins in the spiral of free fall,
heading towards certain calamity.
Of course it is ashamed.
There are the countless blessings
and all the others far worse off.
This self-pity is pitifully selfish if only you could see it.
But you cannot risk it.
You lift up your eyes to the hills and there is no help.
You remain trapped within their deceiving grip,
panicking for any way out.
You could say it’s all been a bad dream when
suddenly you’re free again, and the mind feasts
at a table in the wilderness,
the honoured guest of quick-eyed Love.
It’s a conundrum.
It’ll all happen again, probably.
It’s the riddle of Easter followed by Good Friday again and again.
But you can’t keep a good God down.
Lockdown is raided, liberated by invading, resurrected Love.
A mind secure in health,
shielded within well-being,
nourished in a green pasture,
refreshed by still waters
and soul restored,
and that’s a comfort.
‘Conundrum’ is a new poem by Sacristy author David Grieve. You can read more of David’s poems about depression and faith in his book Hope in Dark Places – get your copy here!
Please note: Sacristy Press does not necessarily share or endorse the views of the guest contributors to this blog.